Hi all,

I hope you completed the English exam well and are making the most of today in preparation for this weeks exams. You just have to hang in there and stay focussed – I told you these exams would come around quickly

For this reason I know that your time is scarce…so what are you doing on here!

Today’s article really has just one purpose:

Relieve some stress through some funny examination responses.

Check  out  these  student  exam  responses  from  GCSE examination papers in England in 2001.

This information was sourced directly from:

http://www.australianpolitics.com/exam/bloopers/bloopers2.shtml

Some of these are very silly but they will bring a smile to your face if not a chuckle.

Topic: Geography

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q:  Explain  one of the processes by which water can be made safe  to  drink.
A:  Flirtation  makes  water safe to drink because  it  removes  large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q:  How  is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q:  What  causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight  between  the  Earth  and the Moon. All water tends to flow  towards  the  moon,  because  there is no water on the moon,  and  nature  abhors  a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Sociology
Q:  What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A:  If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

Q:  In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A:Very  important.  S*x  can  only  happen when a male gets an election.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Biology
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name  a  major  disease  associated  with cigarettes?
A: Premature death.

Q:  How  can  you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]

Q: How  are  the  main  parts  of  the  body  categorised? (e.g.abdomen.)
A:  The body is consisted into three parts – the  brainium,  the  borax  and  the  abdominal  cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.

Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A: Nearby.

Q:  What  is  the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q:  Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean Section.’
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.

Q:  What  is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.

Q:  Give  an  example  of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A:  Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

English

Q:  Use  the word ‘judicious’ in a sentence to show you  understand  its meaning.

A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

Q:  What  does the word ‘benign’ mean?

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Now…get back to work…

Work  hard,  aim  high  and  don’t  ever  lose sight of your goals.

Your dreams are within your grasp.

GO, GO, GO!

Your Study Buddy,

Heath

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